Insomnia has struck again. I WANT TO SLEEP, DAMMIT.

Breaking from the Internets for 24 hours. I have a day off and I intend on enjoying the fuck out of it IRL.

So, for those not in the loop, www.genesisawards.net and all associated sites will be down for the next two to three days for our server switch.

Just FYI. You can still nominate fic by sending an e-mail to genesis.awards.admin@gmail.com, and feel free to join us in #genesisawards on irc.fallenswordirc.com.

Lately I've found myself becoming reclusive and distancing myself from the people I care about. It's a slow descent into a bit of bipolar madness that I'm trying like hell to prevent.

My online friends probably can't even tell because I lock myself away in my room and talk to them instead of dealing with my real life. Before I was careful to balance the two things, with a generous helping of both online and real-world social lives and taking care to not neglect either if possible. Now I just basically want to stay away from everyone I know except for a select few online friends.

I've felt this random-ass rage and anger and jealousy and...just a huge nonsensical, pointless hunk of emotion building up inside of me for no good reason. They're not emotions I feel toward any one person, they're just there, unused, not dealt with, and it feels like it's threatening to explode out of me at any point. I worry it'll happen when Kenny and Cally and the cats are about, or worse, my parents and sister. When I actually enter into a manic phase I get weird and paranoid, or worse, physically violent.

Working out isn't helping nor hindering the effort to get rid of said emotions. I think I really just need everyone to leave for a few days and CLEAN. CLEAN EVERYTHING. I need Cally and Kenny to both be gone, and take the cats, and I'll just scrub the fuck out of everything. THAT would probably help, but I'd have to be totally alone, and I can't be interrupted. *grinds teeth*

This is basically just very frustrating. I've been TRYING to give myself a daily dose of real social interaction, at the very least with my husband or something, but this new job is making me even MORE reclusive once I get home.

I think I'll head downstairs and attempt to be normal for a while.

I've been doing rather a lot of it lately. More than usual, anyway - and I read quite a bit.

One thing I've been doing is rereading all of my Anne McCaffrey novels. A lot of them I haven't touched since high school - real life sort of interrupted - and now that I'm a big bad adult I have a much better understanding of the worlds she created.

What I truly don't get, though, is this.

Why no love for the Brainship series? Everyone focuses on the Pern series, which is a great series, do not get me wrong. But the Brainship series has so many implications and interesting stuff that the Pern series, being mostly technologically backward doesn't have. I mean, they're working on tech right now that could make Shellpersons real in the next fifty to a hundred years. That's exciting! Pern, not so much.

A lot of people say it's because of the fantasy aspect, but as I see it Pern isn't fantasy so much as ass-backwards sci-fi with dragons. I never once saw Pern as fantasy. It's always been about a people discovering their origins and what makes themselves tick. No magic there: even the fire-breathing dragons have a scientific basis.

I just don't get it. Brainships and Crystal Singers interest me far more than Pern does. I hate to say that, because I do so love Pern, but it's true.

That said, when I got made a Journeyman in my union I was secretly thrilled. ^_~

The new season of the Genesis Awards have opened. If you like FF7 or FFX fanfiction, go visit and nominate now!

My txt message noise is the Communicator noise from Star Trek. I feel like Captain Kirk every time someone tweets me that I have on device updates. ^_____^

The unthinkable has happened.

I AM ALMOST OUT OF CHAI.

*plots to buy some more from the teavana website*

Kenny and I got an espresso machine with a milk steamer. You can make chai concentrate in it, too. I have made some killer chai lattes in the past few days (ask Cally), but I am ALMOST OUT OF CHAI TEA.

*twitch*

So, it's election day.

I'm not gonna get up on a soapbox and tell you all that you should vote for who I voted for. Vote for whoever you want. It's your choice.

No, what I'm going to say is -

Don't bitch if your candidate doesn't win. Remember what happened last time that happened? Gore won, and then Bush became president. Don't bitch. Curse your fellow man for their stupidity, curse the fact that you share a country with people who don't share your opinions, but for God's sakes, don't bitch! We have semi-fair elections, and we have to take what our fellow man elects. Instead of whining, think to yourself "Thank fucking God for term limits."

This goes for all parties. I don't want another Florida fiasco; I may just blow my goddamn head off if it happens again. >.>

Oh, and also: get off your asses and go vote! I got my vote in like a week ago.

Have you played Crisis Core? I like Angeal, and would have no matter what, but at the very beginning there's a part where he tells Zack "No story is not worth hearing."

That one bit made me absolutely adore him to bits.

Suggestions, more like.

I want to be a Turk, from FF7, for Halloween. I suspect that Cally will also agree to being a Turk, because Turks rock. We could be two awesome Turk peas in a pod. Anyway.

I've figured out a means to make lapel pins with the Shinra logo (I made some ghetto versions today and they came out pretty good), and I plan on ditzing about with Shinra cufflinks. Now, can anyone tell me anything else they think a good Turk would have for uniform parts?

To do soon: Go thrift-shopping to find a blue suit I can alter to fit me properly. :)

Her: I am fairly certain that there was a point in her life when she wasn't a cunt.
Me: I think she was always a cunt and just hid it well.

(The Mr. Kite scene comes up)

Kenny: "...Oh my God, is that Eddie Izzard?
Me: "...The boots were a dead giveaway."

Ignore the Ron Paul support message, and just read what Shiva has to say:

http://magpieonthegallows.blogspot.com/2008/01/people-are-growing-angry-and-media.html

And I made a costume blog to keep track of it all.

Those of you who know me know I've been making costumes since I was in high school...and have been sewing for the majority of my life. I'm about to branch out into the cosplaying field, now, and I was getting so overwhelmed with the information I was coming up with that I really needed to organize it somehow. So I made a costuming blog to keep track of it, and also to store all of the useful links I found. I invite everyone to go there if only to peruse my links - they're ridiculously useful.

http://tashascostumes.wordpress.com/

Yes, I love wordpress. So much more than LJ. >.

http://www.netauthority.org/offenders/1358.shtml

That just CRACKED ME THE FUCK UP! I love that site. It's the best gag site on the damn planet.

I should totally submit something good. *ponders*

http://nightswithbrightlights.wordpress.com/

New blog.

Mkay! Here goes.

Someone pissed me off. Well, a few people, but the friends cut was specifically because of one person. Said person does not live on the East Coast. Everyone else that I cut it was just because I found myself skipping your posts because they were always about the same thing, or because I haven't talked to you in like three years, or because we just didn't have anything in common anymore. People drift apart, kay?

So I'm only really mad at one person, and I'm not even really mad at them, I just realized that my life would be much more enriched with said person out of it. If I could piss them off in the process, whoopie. I'm a very vengeful person, and I refuse to hide it.

So I hope that clears things up. I've gotten some flak from people and you know, just because I took you off my friends list doesn't mean that we're not cool or down or whatever, it just means that I like having an uncluttered friends page.

Edit: NEW SCREEN NAME ON AIM: niteswbritelites

I got bored with dead like one. >.< It was lame.

Okay. So. I know I said I'd never post here but I'm in the process of attempting to repurchase G-S.net - enom is being a douchebag. Anyway, I just got some horrible news.

Kevin Federline lived in Carson City up until the point he became a backup dancer for Britney Spears. He was born in Fresno but apparently raised in Carson City.

WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET STUCK WITH THE DUMBASSES? WTF?